Season 26 Ep 6 Review: Simpsorama

Crossoverarama!

Somehow, this should be better

"Simpsorama"

    And here we are, the sixth episode of season 26, and perhaps one of the strangest, almost-amazing, episodes of the incredibly long run of the show. In fact, this was the episode that I originally watched that gave rise to my idea to watch this entire season. I was browsing through our On-Demand service, and I saw that the most recent episode of The Simpsons was a crossover with Futurama. "Well, shucks," I might have said that night. "The Simpsons really sucks now, but Futurama never hit that really crappy low. And it would be great to see one more Futurama adventure." I imagine this was a very easy crossover for them to do anyway. Maybe that's why they did it.
    I very recently read something about how this was one of the worst things The Simpsons have ever done, continuity-wise. Like, how does this make ANY KIND OF SENSE AT ALL TO THE UNIVERSE OF EVERYONE'S FAVORITE FAMILY? Honestly, I don't know. I guess it really doesn't. I mean, we are in season 26. Does continuity really even matter anymore? I'd almost go so far to say as long as they deliver a watchable episode that is funny, has a decent story, and isn't loaded with pointless celebrities and/or secondary characters getting their own episodes, I'm fine with them pissing all over the continuity. I've been OBSESSED with a podcast that someone on Instagram turned me on to. It's called, "Worst Episode Ever" (here is their website. After you finish reading this fine blog post, immediately go there and listen!), and it's two guys that watch episodes of post "classic era" Simpsons (season eleven and beyond) to determine, once and for all, which is the worst episode ever. It's a great podcast, but I just listened to one where they talk about the episode, "The Principal and the Pauper". They generally don't like the continuity (or cannon) of the show being twisted here. I honestly feel that in the season five episode "Homer's Barbershop Quartet", they don't directly mess with the continuity that had been established the four seasons earlier, but seriously? Homer can just sing acapella and play piano? When basically the rest of the series he can't do either. That has always bugged me, and it's one of my least favorite episodes of the "classic era".
    Wow, nice little tangent. My whole point is this: season 26 Simpsons main goal should be to make me laugh. They are probably too old to be nuanced. If destroying continuity is a way to do that, then I'm all for it!
    [author's note: isn't that, their destroying of continuity (especially with ridiculous craziness) a big complaint I've had with later-season episodes? Ssshhhhh!]

Ever thought you'd see THIS image? Kinda cool

    Okay, let's talk about this episode. Firstly, the couch gag. It was a decent melding of both Futurama and The Simpsons, even though it was weak It starts with the above image (and the absolute AWESOME line ,"A show out of ideas teams up with a show out of episodes"), like the classic Futurama open, until it cuts to a couch gag involving Hedonism bot. In short, it sucks. But what else is new about season 26 couch gags? Let's move on.
    The story was decent this week, if not utterly crazy. It starts with the children of Springfield Elementary making a time capsule. It ends with the future New New York being devastated by things (lizard-kind of things that resemble Bart. Yeah, it's a wild episode) that were spawned from a sneezed-in-by-Bart sandwich from the past. It's silly, and it has more of a Futurama feel, since it deals with time travel. Originally, Bender is sent back in time to kill Homer, since they originally think Homer is the cause of the future destruction (rabbits that look eerily like Matt Groening's Life in Hell rabbits). However, these rabbits transform into the lizard-Bart things. And eventually, everything is okay. Not the best summary, but that's not what you are here for anyway.
    I guess this was a hyped-up episode before it aired. I had never heard of it until after it aired, so I must have missed the hype. Interesting that this aired not long after the Simpsons/Family Guy crossover. That one I had heard about, and wanted to watch. Never got around to it, but eventually I'll see it I'm sure. Even so, it was fun to see all these characters (Futurama and Simpsons) together, and I think they generally worked pretty well. The episode was decently funny and had TONS of visual references/callbacks to old Simpsons and Futurama stuff. That was enjoyable. This episode is not as good as the previous one, which was definitely the high-mark of the season so far. But, it wasn't bad. I'm gonna level with you guys, this one is a little tough for me to write. As I said, this was the first season 26 episode I watched, and I watched it quite a long time ago. I wrote decent notes for it, but I don't have the added benefit of just having watched  it. I feel very rambly in this post, and for that I apologize. Well, I don't apologize that much. I do have a lot to write for my bullet point segment, but I feel my write up is a little lacking, or hollow.
    How about this: if you like Futurama you will probably like this episode. If you have enjoyed season 26 of The Simpsons in the same way as I have so far (pleasantly surprised, but still realizing this show has fallen A LOT), you'll like this episode. For that, I'll give this one...

6/10

• I liked the artist's rendition of the future mayor Quimby (it's a cockroach)
• Homer reads, "How To Read A Book In Bed", in bed. Pretty silly
• Something I really, really, disliked was the trap Homer set, that strung up Bart. Bender and Homer repeatedly slapping Bart to spin his rope, was super dumb. The worst part of the episode
• "Electronic hyper-credits" bit was pretty funny
• I like the Pin Pals reference 
• I really like the joke about Bender just being Homer with an antenna
• The funniest joke in the episode: Bender reveals he's there to kill Homer. He opens his chest, and many weapons pop out (including, but not limited to: a boxing glove, two flamethrowers, a gun, and various sharp instruments). Homer says, "Ah! A boxing glove!" This had me laughing out loud. Bravo!
• "Crossovers are hell" graffiti a nice touch
• A great reference to Fry's puppy (can't remember the name) from "Jurassic Bark"
• Moustache-less Scruffy looks very strange
• Also a Canyonero reference. "11 miles per gallon"
• Bart's birthday is February 23?
• There was a funny joke about Bart and Butterfingers
• Finally, at the very end, Kang and Kodos visit Omicron Persei 8. Seeing them interact with Lrrr and Ndnd was interesting. Not super funny, but still cool

That's all she wrote folks. Thanks for reading! Hopefully this one wasn't too bad. Check back pretty soon (with any luck) for the review of the next episode of the season. *thumbs up*

Season 26 Review: Opposites-A-Frack

"Our water was on FIRE!"

"Opposites-A-Frack"

    Wow. This episode was good. Like, really good. Not "golden era" (not even close, really). But for a recent Simpsons episode, it kind of kicked ass. The story was interesting and (semi) unique for the show; their were some good jokes and quotes; and the whole beginning, in which Patty & Selma try to stop smoking, was FABULOUS.
    [author's note: It seems as if there is no couch gag for this episode. Very weird...]

    The basic story goes a little something like this: Patty and Selma went to Paris and come home early. Since their apartment was still being treated for black mold, they stay with Marge and Homer. The only condition? They CAN'T smoke in the house. After some funny E-cigarette jokes, they end up smoking in the bathroom. But they cause an explosion, because the water is flammable and is actually on fire. This leads Lisa to realize that someone (who could it be?) is fracking in their neighborhood. Obviously it's Mr. Burns. When Lisa's favorite female assemblywoman comes to stop Mr. Burns, the two fall in love. Their affair-despite-their-starkly-opposing-viewpoints reminded me of Jack from 30 Rock and his various "hook-ups" with liberals. This episode, unlike a lot of newer ones, actually had a good balance of secondary characters. Patty and Selma aren't seen after the first six or seven minutes, and the whole time they are in the episode they are funny. Mr. Burns has more screen time, basically in the final 2/3 of the episode, but again, he's not overdone. Even Homer, who I find more and more annoying as the years go on (because the writers make him dumber and dumber and dumber, until he's basically at the point where he has the mental capacity of a bag of rotten carrots) was great in this episode. Overall, a great balance of character screen-time. Mr. Burns's squeeze was an older woman named Maxine. She's okay, but nothing really special or wholly memorable. 

Yuck

    The episode comes to a good conclusion, even though everything is back to status-quo (as so goes The Simpsons, though). The story is sort of far fetched, and the ending gets a little too crazy, but I wouldn't have been surprised to see this kind of story in one of the better seasons. Newer Simpsons tend to go crazy with ridiculous, nonsense, un-realistic stories, but this one I actually liked. There were several times throughout the episode too where I laughed out loud. Yup. I LOL'd. I don't do that much for newer Simpsons episodes. I can actually say that this was the funniest season 26 episode thus far. I HOPE it's a sign of things to come. I'm still dubious though, because overall the season has not been great. But you know what? I'm actually pretty pleased with it. My expectations were virtually nonexistent, so to find a few episodes (this one, the "Treehouse of Horror", and the Relationship one) that are good is shocking, and slightly life-affirming. 

    I don't think there is much else to say, except the "water was on fire" joke wears a bit thin by the end. So far, if I had to suggest one episode from season 26 for someone to watch, it would definitely be this one. I'd also like to say that I know I'm still six episodes (I think) behind of where they are in the season. I haven't watched one in a while, but I'm going to try my damnedest to get caught up in the next few weeks. Bare with me, folks! I have no qualms with giving this episode a...

7/10

    I have quite a list of bullet points. Let's do it to it (have I said that recently elsewhere in this blog?):

• The "hockey fight mirror" gag was pretty humorous
• I also enjoyed the black mold monster arm in Patty & Selma's apartment. It pulls two of the cleaners into some (I assume) hellish black mold void
• P & S's magically appearing cigarette gag was funny. Reminded me of classic Simpsons, actually
• The fracking site is disguised as the Women's Basketball Hall of Fame. Laughed out loud
• The montage of Homer going around to the townspeople, trying to sell the whole fracking thing, was great. He always has his leg propped up on something. Great gag
• The end, with Burns and Maxine sitting in bed, each looking at their own iPads, being boring, was quite enjoyable. More so than I would have though
• This episode starts off with a great quote. In fact it's the first thing said in the whole episode:
• HOMER: "Woo. Pork chops with gravy! Wait, but today's not pork chop Tuesday, or gravy Thursday!"
• PATTY (talking about E-cigarettes): "Sure, it's got the nicotine, but where's the tar? Where's the stab from every breath that reminds me I'm alive?"
• MOE: "Money is like a job you don't even have to do!"

    And that'll do it folks! I hope you enjoyed reading, because I enjoyed writing. I have my fingers crossed that these good episodes will continue. I do know that the next episode is also pretty decent! I'll try to have it up next week

"Vs." Episodes of The Simpsons, RANKED

This'll re-put Brockway back back on the map!

    As I was doing research for a different Simpsons list (which may or may not end up on this here blog), I realized something: there are an AWFUL lot of episodes that are titled, "something VS something". Twelve of them, as a matter of fact. Over the last several weeks, I've watched and ranked all these episodes. For your enjoyment, please enjoy this awesome list of Simpsons episodes that feature "vs" in their title. Boy, there sure is a lot of conflicts in this show!

[note: they are ranked 1-12, and I've rated each one on a popular 1-10 scale. You know the score: 1 is shit, 10 is orgasmically awesome]

12. "Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays" (season 15)

 

"Why am I in this episode?" (may not be an actualy quote)

    Boy, this episode sucks. The storyline, which focuses on the town adopting an anti-children stance because of a riot at a children's concert, is weak and bizarre. The laughs are few and far between, and the entire Roofi (the child performer) concert segment has to be one of the worst segments in Simpsons history. This one can definitely be skipped. I'm giving it a low 3/10. Here are some notes!

• I find pig Latin a fascinatingly strange sounding "language"
• The "devil tobacco lobbyist" bit was kinda funny. 
• Homer misprinting the bumper stickers to read, "Yes No 242" is a good gag, and I distinctly remember laughing my ass off at it when I first watched it in 2004
• "Ladies and gentlemen, let's kill every child...friendly thing in town!" - Lindsay Naegle at town meeting
• "This concert is oversold! It's as if a music promoter acted unscrupulously!" - Marge
• As Bart and Lisa wrestle over the remote to the TV, they flip through several channels. Hank Hill from the TV: "Bobby, I got propane in my urethra."

11. "Homer vs. Dignity" (season 12)

 

Pre-panda rape

    This episode is a slight step above the Marge episode. The storyline isn't great, there aren't many laughs (besides the Smithers Broadway bit, which had me laughing out loud. It probably gets a full point just for that), and it's really just an episode that seems to be trying much too hard to be funny. I'll give this one 5/10. Now, for bullets!

• The episode starts with the family celebrating "Bart's first 'A'". I don't mean to be a joke killer here, but there's no way this is Bart's first 'A'. Don't they care at all about continuity?
• In fact, the entire restaurant segment is weak
• Carl's word-of-the-day calendar, however? Decidedly unweak. I love him thinking "conquer" is "concur" 
• My favorite joke in the whole episode: Mr. Burns makes a remark that Smithers wouldn't know the meaning of the word, "gay" (in the ol timey, "happy" sense). It then immediately cuts to Smithers doing his Malibu Stacy play on Broadway. God I LOVE this joke
• So, Homer is raped by a Panda? That's pretty gross and South Park-y
• "Come on Edna, don't be tardy!" - Skinner
• "Whoa whoa, slow down there maestro. There's a NEW Mexico?" - Burns. I always thought this quote was much funnier when I first saw this episode
• "Ah, my eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!" - Lenny
• "Yes, whether you're Christian or just non-Jewish, everybody loves Santa Claus." - Kent Brockman

10. "Bart vs. Thanksgiving" (season 2)

 

I choose this picture because I thought Kent Brockman looks WEIRD AS HELL here

 

    This is the earliest episode on the list. While I enjoy the second season of the show, they hadn't quite hit their golden stride yet. The animation (and voices) was still a little rough, and while the stories were good, the laughs weren't as plentiful. This is a pretty standard season two episode. The story goes as follows (for the zero of you who haven't seen it): Lisa works really hard on a Thanksgiving centerpiece; Bart ruins it because he's an asshole kid; everyone hates him for awhile; he runs away; everyone is concerned; he comes back; he and Lisa make up and have a touching moment. The story is pretty good, and there are a few laughs, but it's nothing that great. Probably on the lower end of the season two spectrum. I give it a 5/10

• Bizarre focus on Maggie during the beginning of the episode
• Homer's favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. Yuck
• Bart says, "bitchin'" in this episode. I find this sort of amazing, for a cartoon that aired in November of 1990
• Maggie "talks" in this episode

9. "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy" (season 6)

 

I've always liked this guy's face

    This is an episode I've never cared for that much, even though it's smack-dab in the middle of the "golden era". As I have discussed elsewhere on this blog (I think), I'm not a big fan of episodes centering around Grampa Simpson. I love his character (especially his nonsensical, rambling stories), and he can be very, very funny. Episodes that center around him, though, are generally not my favorite. I like the B-story, of all the kids trying to figure out where the adults went, much better. It's silly, but it's got some laughs. I would call this episode "weak". It's got some touching moments at the end, but not enough of the funny throughout. We'll give this bad boy a 6/10. Here are some observed thoughts:

• I love Abe continually talking about/just saying "sex" in his old man voice.
• Homer's re-appearing instant beard
• Grampa Simpson (to Homer): "Think of me when you're having the best sex of your life!"
• [unfortunately, I wrote my notes on actual paper, and the little girl my wife babysits threw up on that paper, so these are the only things I could salvage. I had at least one more thought written down, but I don't know what they are :( ]

8. "Homer vs. Patty and Selma" (season 6)

 

Funny, unless you really think about it

    This was an episode that I didn't remember much from before I re-watched it. There's probably a reason for that. Even though that, like the above episode, this is a season six episode, it's kind of forgettable. There's nothing wrong with the episode, just nothing amazing. The story is good, but it relies too heavily on the presence of Patty and Selma (more side characters that couldn't carry their own episodes). Oh yeah, the Bart in the ballet B-story results in absolutely zero laughs. There's a few good lines (as there is in about 98% of all Simpsons episodes), but I'm overall pretty surprised at how un-funny this one is. 6/10.

• I like Homer's dream about his mysterious invention
• Homer's meeting with the bank loan guy is great too
• After Homer asked P & S for money, the conversation ends with those two laughing maniacally. Homer, too dumb to realize the context of their laughing, just starts laughing hysterically. I LOVE this bit. Homer laughing uncontrollably = comedy gold (usually)
• Love the TV turning on and off on its own
• Of course, this episode has Mel Brooks!
• Homer: "...and who can forget dear Ratboy"
• Homer: "No wonder I didn't hear about Bart being elected World's Greatest Sex Machine" (probably my favorite from this episode)
• Homer (talking to Mel Brooks): "I loved that movie, Young Frankenstein. Scared the hell out of me!"

7. "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment" (season 2)

 

Good ol' Devil

    This season two episode I think is way better than the Thanksgiving one. This has a great story, is decently funny, and has some good quotes. I find this episode much more memorable than the previous two I've listed. I would go back to this one as a better season two episode than most. Not a whole lot to write here, besides this one gets a solid 7/10 (it's nice to see Homer do the right thing at the end), so let's just jump right into these black dots:

• I love the biblical intro. Some very funny lines
• The Bout to Knock the Other Guy Out cracks me up every time. Maybe one of my favorite Simpsons things ever
• Also, the tagline for that boxing match is, "This time, it's for money." I LOVE THIS SO VERY MUCH
• Cashier: "I need a price check on two grapes." (a line I still use occasionally)

6. "Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade" (season 14)

 

 

This had me laughing out loud for at least thirty seconds

    I hadn't watched this episode in a while. When I sat down to re-watch it, I was expecting it to be crappy, as I find a lot of season 14 is. I was very pleasantly surprised to find that it's actually a pretty hilarious episode. I mean, I ranked it sixth out of twelve. That's pretty decent. While the story of Bart and Lisa fighting then making up is an old one that has been told in better episodes (and in other episodes in general. See entry #10), it's still got some nice emotion towards the end. And again, it's genuinely very funny. Let's give it a 7/10 and dive right in!

• Satellite installers give Homer a time frame of installation. The time frame is between "now and June". They come in September
• Japanese Friends!
• Maybe the first Futurama character cameo (Bender, during Bart's hallucination)
• I like Homer watching "School Span" and seeing the assembly. Funny stuff
• Bart's acronyms for remembering stuff for tests are pretty funny: Dogs Eat Barf Solely On Wednesday Maybel
• I didn't write them down, but the names of the kids in Bart and Lisa's new class are pretty funny
• Field Trip Memorial
• Bart: "Oh Lord, please strike these mountain folk dead."
• McConnell (Bart/Lisa's new teacher): "Sobbing only pushes Bart's grade higher."
• Homer: "If I wanted reality I'd have this lump looked at."
• McConnell: "Now children, if you look up at the capital dome, you'll see a mural of our state bird, the pot bellied sparrow, eating our state pasta, bowtie." (I laughed out loud at this. Grade A ridiculousness)

5. "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson" (season 9)

 

Basically how I imagine Mad Magazine to be run

    I used to hold this episode in very high regard. I remember it being hilarious. I've watched it countless times. This most recent watch-through, I decided this episode is not as funny as I remembered it being. Maybe I just watched it too many times. It still has some great bits, and the story, while zany, is great. The quotes are nothing stellar, however I will say Marge's "Broadway" quote cracks me up. Solid episode, not great. Also, it's a little strange to watch something with the old twin towers. Although the tower jokes are funny. 7/10

• How can you not LOVE the car that Homer builds himself?
• That overhead shot of Homer, sticking by his car, using a stick to try and reach the pizza place. Priceless
• I love the "Kickin' It!" musical
• Homer: "Look everyone! I'm Peter Pants-less". This isn't an amazing quote, but this is the first time my wife had ever laughed at The Simpsons. She's not a fan
• Marge: "The bus station is just ONE of the sights we came to see." 
• Marge: "You know, when I was a girl, I always dreamed of being in a Broadway audience."

4. "Homer vs. the 18th Amendment" (season 8)

 

Not my picture. Courtesy of TVtropes (because I forgot to take one!)

[note: forgot to take a picture for this episode, like a damn bonehead. So I grabbed this one from TVtropes!]   
    This is a pretty funny episode. I love the story a lot. Especially the beginning Saint Patrick's Day bit. I love taking alcohol away from Homer. Usually results in great stuff. Of course, what makes this episode so great is one time character Rex Banner (I actually don't know if he's been used since. I haven't seen many episodes between seasons 18-25. But, considering the way the episode ends, probably not). He's got that old timey 1920's charm (the way he talks, dresses, etc). A website I frequent (and really, really enjoy) has a list of the 11 best one-off Simpsons characters, and Banner is number three on it (read the whole list here. Seriously guys, his website 11 Points, is great and you should all check it out. Especially Simpsons fans). Not that he's number one on that list, but I really wanted to give a shout-out to that site. Anyway, great story, funny bits, and a great one-time character. 8/10 easy.

• Dr. Hibbert's wife's name is Bernice. 
• How many bathtubs can the Simpsons fit in their damn basement? They have at least 15. That's a HUGE basement
• Flinging Rex Banner out of the town with a catapult is a great, crazy touch
• I personally think the "alcohol" quote that Homer delivers at the end is a touch overrated. It's funny, but it's not even the best quote in the episode. 
• Lisa: "No one's pinching his legs!"
• Kent Brockman: " 'What are YOU looking at?' The innocent words of a drunken ten year old."
• Rex Banner (to unidentified officer): "Take that badge out of your mouth!" (I love how stupid the cop looks with the badge in his mouth)

3. "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy" (season 5)

(heart)

    Here’s where it REALLY gets good. These final three episodes are some of my favorites of all time (in fact, number one I’m pretty sure IS my favorite of all time). This episode is incredibly fantastic for numerous reasons: the story is great (and it has good, still-relevant commentary on both the toy collecting craze, and sexism), Stacy is a fantastic one-time (I believe one-time) character, there is a huge amount of laughs, hilarious B-story with Grampa getting a job, and overall this episode just whales it out of the park. If nothing else, it has the classic scene where Smithers boots up his computer, and a (seemingly) naked Mr. Burns pops up, with the infamous, “Hello, Smithers. You’re quite good at turning me on”. And Smithers’s hilarious response to Lisa: “Um…you probably should ignore that.” God, a true classic. Anyway, this one is an easy 9/10. Please enjoy these bullet points!

•  Maaaaatlock!
• I really love all of Grampa Simpson’s antics in this episode. Maybe the best Grampa episode ever?
•  As I mentioned, Smithers’s start-up screen for his computer. So good I’m listing it twice
• Krusty’s doll-line reading is an underrated hilarious bit for the episode
•  Customer: “Damn sandwich took a bite out of me!”

2. "Bart vs. Australia" (season 6)

The knifey-spooney championship

    This one is a step up from “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy”. This one is laugh-out-loud funny, and the jokes come a mile-a-minute. Of course, this one has one of my favorite silly Simpsons bits of all time (which one could it be? Check the bullet list for full info!). The story is zany, silly, and fairly unrealistic (even for The Simpsons), but it doesn’t feel forced and unfunny like the “out there” storylines of later seasons. Everything about this episode is perfect. I don’t have a single complaint about this masterpiece. Without further adieu, here’s some stuff! (oh yeah, this one is a 9.5/10)

• I LOVE how long international numbers are. This always cracks me up
• Speaking of LOVING crazy jokes, I LOVE LOVE LOVE that Hitler joke. It’s one of those crazy, nonsensical jokes that the writers just throw in. These are some of my favorite jokes of “golden era” Simpsons
• I really enjoy the depiction of Australian people
• What is one of my favorite silly Simpsons bits of all time? Well, it’s not the Hitler joke. What could it be? Hhmm…
• …it’s the knifey-spooney gag! Kills me every time. Top five Simpsons gags of all time
• Hey, pobody’s nerfect in Australia
• I also really enjoy Marge trying to order a coffee at the pub.
• Conover: “Disparaging the boot is a boot-able offense.”
• Clerk (talking about bullfrogs): “What? That’s an odd name. I’d have called them ‘chazz-wuzzers’.”
• Australian guy: “900 dollary-doo’s?!”

1. 1. "Marge vs. the Monorail" (season 4)

More of that zaniness I love so much

    Well, we knew it would come to this. This is easily the number one episode of The Simpsons that features something versing something else in the title. Despite my undying love of The Simpsons, I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about my absolute favorite episode of all time. I’m pretty sure it’s this one. It might be the easy pick, but come on, this episode is the definition of comedy perfection! There’s nonsense (the giant magnifying glass, escalator to nowhere, etc); there’s a good guest star making fun of himself (Leonard Nimoy. I love how he just disappears, a la Star Trek, at the end of the episode); there’s a great, ridiculous story (monorail being installed in Springield); there’s an amazing musical number (“The ring came off my pudding can/take my pen knife my good man!”); there’s like hundreds of great quotes (“Chat away. I’ll just amuse myself with some pornographic playing cards”) ; there’s nice sight gags (conjoined twins getting split apart by the anchor); what else? Jeesh, the list goes on and on. Since I can’t say anything else that probably hasn’t been said already, let’s just take a look at this stuff I wrote down on a (now vomit-soaked) piece of paper. Oh, the arbitrary rating? 10/10 obvi!

• I like the, “eat who I eat” line quite a bit
• Krusty has a son with some random woman? Seems perfectly in line with his sleazy character
• Lureen Lumpkin is briefly in this one. She sounds like lunchlady Doris. Lureen Lumpkin may be my LEAST favorite Simpsons character of all time. In fact, “Colonol Homer” is probably in my top ten least favorite episodes
• Homer (referencing a large family of possums): "I call the big one Bitey"
• Carl (talking to Lenny about what exactly the plant does with their old toxic waste): “Either way, I’m sleeping good tonight!” (Lenny and Carl high five)
• Unfortunately, this was another page that I lost some of my notes on due to vomit. I'm pretty bummed about this. That's the lesson kids: don't ever write anything down, EVER. ALWAYS use your phone to take notes for your blog
• But, you've all seen the episode. You love it. Just go watch it, straightaway!
  
  
  
  
  
  

  There you have it! The idea of making very specific Simpsons-themed lists appeals to me greatly, so expect more in the future. I may have a few ideas. Anyway, thanks for reading!

Season 26 Ep 4 Review: Treehouse of Horror XXV

Marvin Monroe approves

"Treehouse of Horror XXV"

    Here we have it: another year, another Halloween special. I'm gonna say it right off the bat: this is a pretty good episode. Generally, even in the Simpsons' crappiest seasons, you can usually rely on the Halloween episodes to at least be semi-entertaining. This year is no exception. I will say, I only enjoyed two of the three segments. Maybe I'm just dumb, but the Clockwork Orange parody really left me cold and annoyed. I'll get into more detail below, but I'd call it one of the worst ToH segments I've ever seen. Yikes.
    The episode begins like the beginning of any number of late night talk shows. There's an announcer rattling off lists of celebrities that would appear in this year's installment, while clips of the past 24 iterations of the Halloween episodes scroll past. At the end, all the dead bodies of the celebrities mentioned spell out, "Treehouse of Horror". Meh, it's a decent opening. Unlike the other couch gags so far, it's okay that this one is long. It isn't as long as the absurd (and awesome) couch gag from "Clown in the Dumps", and it doesn't overstay its welcome. At least you get to see brief glimpses of great former episodes.
    For this episode, I'll give short rundowns of the three segments here. Let's "get-r-dun" (still relevant?)

School Is Hell

 

Love these demons!

    Bart and Lisa get pulled into Hell, where they attend the school there. As you would imagine, Bart excels. Eventually, he has to torture (which is part of the curriculum) Homer, who is fully supportive of the idea (since Bart is finally doing good at school). The story is decent, although I'm pretty tired of the novelty of Bart doing well in school (no matter where it may be). However, this is a great segment for something that I generally don't look for in a Simpsons episode: the look. All the demons, the monsters, the school itself, the various Hell versions of normal Springfield denizens, it's all awesome. The school really looks like how you might imagine Hell looking. Even for a cartoon, there's some fairly disturbing imagery and disgusting stuff. I could call some of it horrific even. This episode has a few laughs, and a decent story, but I would say this segment is worth watching just for the imagery. This segment gets a 6/10 from me! A few quick notes:

• One of Bart's Hell courses: "Keeping the Yankees in first place". 
• Homer: "Bart, you went to Hell and came back a winner, like Jesus."

A Clockwork Yellow

 

Not the best picture, but this segment doesn't deserve a good pic!

 

     This is a parody of A Clockwork Orange. I haven't seen the movie, so perhaps some of these jokes are lost on me. I don't even feel confident giving a summary. But, let's try anyway: Moe, Lenny, Carl, and Homer are a band of delinquents. Moe drops out, and sometime later (months or years, I don't remember. Or care), gets beat up by a new band of delinquents. So Moe gets the old band back together (so to speak), and they do...something? I don't remember. I really, really disliked this segment. I thought it was dull, boring, unfunny, and annoying. I don't think the accents are great either. This one just bugs me. I'll give it a very generous 3/10 (mainly because of one joke which I really enjoyed. See below).

• Homer brings Marge back to his pad. Marge thinks they are gonna have sex, but it turns out to be a montage of Homer doing literally everything else but sexing up Marge. She sits bored on the bed. It's kinda funny
• The iPhone perspective bit, towards the end, is my favorite joke of the episode. Pretty funny.

 

 

The Others

 

   The Simpsons family is being hassled by ghosts! Oh no! It turns out it's their Tracey Ullman era selves. God, I LOVE the meta-ness of this episode. All the regular Simpsons members end up killing themselves so they can be ghosts along with the Ullman-Simpsons. The story is pretty good overall, and this is just a damn hoot. The funniest of the three segments. But that doesn't even matter! The Simpsons meeting their old 1987 Tracey Ullman selves (even the voices match up pretty good with those very first Simpsons characters) is too good. This one definitely gets an easy 8/10. Let's check it out:

• The Married-with-Children-on-every-channel gag was pretty funny
• Marvin Monroe cameo! How fucking awesome
• The end, with the different variations of the Simpsons family (Adventure Time Simpsons, Japanese manga Simpsons, Lego Simpsons, etc) is great
• Overall just really fun, and I love all the callbacks
• Tracey Ullman Homer: "What kind of afterlife is this? Can't even strangle my dead kid!"

    That's it folks. This was a pretty good episode. It's not big on the laughs (most come during that final segment), but the Hell-imagery and monsters of the first segment, and the meta-ness and laughs of the final segment, make this a great entry into the ongoing Treehouse of Horror anthology. That Clockwork Orange segment notwithstanding, this was a solid episode. So, all even numbered episodes are gonna be good? Is that is? Doesn't make me look forward to the next one, episode five! This episode overall receives from me the almighty rating of:

6/10

    If that second segment could have been even mediocre, I'd have no qualms with giving this one a strong 8/10. Sorry this one took so long to be written. There just are not enough hours in the damn day. Anyway, thanks for reading, and expect the next one up soon!

Season 26 Ep 3 Review: Super Franchise Me

Super Lame Me!

 "Super Franchise Me"

    This episode. *deep exhale*. What a letdown this episode is, after the relatively great (compared to the other two episodes I’ve watched thus far) “Wreck of the Relationship”. The story is actually kinda decent, but man, it’s just not funny. There were two things I really took away from this episode, and unfortunately, I feel they are two issues that plague these newer episodes of The Simpsons: firstly, side characters. This show, besides having amazing main characters and great-to-amazing secondary characters, there are also the side characters. People that will show up, sometimes for only one joke, for ten seconds for one episode, and it’s hilarious. There are three old-time side characters in this episode, and I think they are all godawful this time around. Of course, I’m talking about professor Frink, Gus, and Cletus. Thinking back to the “golden era”, these characters could pop up, like I said, for maybe one singular joke in an episode, and it would be very funny. I don’t mind giving maybe a tiny bit more time to these characters for episodes, but giving them more than one minute of screen time is too much. And now, some 20+ years after these characters were first introduced, they have been pushed to their obnoxious, exaggerated extremes. Gus is a one-joke pony: he’s a pathetic loser who can’t hold a job. It’s funny for a few throwaway jokes. Not funny for even a few minutes of screen time, having him work with Marge at her sandwich shop. Now, Cletus, the once-great send-up of extreme hillbillies, is just very, very annoying. I find him unbelievably grating. Finally, we have Frink. Firstly, why does he need a job at a sandwich shop? But that’s not my problem. My problem is the reliance on him just making those stupid noises after he talks. Hell, he’s only in this episode briefly, and the joke is specifically about him not being able to talk normally. It just isn’t funny anymore. And they take it way too far. Whereas in the better episodes, he might have mumbled on with his weird noises for one or two seconds. Now, it’s like four or five. I say: boo! Finally, this isn’t a problem that is relegated to side characters. Main characters, like Moe and chief Wiggum, are specters of their former hilarious selves.

     Secondly (boy, that was a long paragraph), I feel like they really just extend jokes/gags waaaay too far. There’s a part where Homer continually feeds Santa’s Little Helper bread crust. It’s not funny. And as it goes on, it’s even less funny. Makes me think of Family Guy (yikes!). There’s a part where Homer reminisces about a time he drank free-refill fountain soda. He just drinks and drinks. Where it was once funny when Homer just ate an endless mound of brownies that George Harrison pointed out to him is funny, this is just annoying. “Annoying” is a word I’ve already used twice (minus this time). I bet I’ll use it a few more. This episode really just bugged me. There’s even a gag about Mr. Burns being attracted to a cardboard standee of a motherly sandwich person. It’s not a long joke, but they go back to it at the end of the episode, and it’s probably less funny than the first time. Besides all this crap, this episode was just not that funny. I feel like I’m really eviscerating this episode, and I don’t think I was this critical of the Krusty premiere. I would say this episode is a smidge worse, but they are both pretty sub-par. I guess I got a little excited about that damn boat episode. Oh well, if nothing else, I know the “Treehouse of Horror” episode this year is at least 2/3 good.

    This episode has Ned realizing Homer has been stealing his electricity. He’s using Ned’s power to keep a large freezer (which he also stole from Ned) in his garage that is host to a large amount of meat. When Ned pulls the plug (both figuratively and literally), to avoid the spoiling of all the meat, Marge cooks and it all and makes sandwiches with it. Once those sandwiches become a hit at the school, Marge is offered an opportunity to open a Subway-style sandwich shop. The rest of the episode is just the hijinks and shenanigans of the Simpsons family trying to manage the shop. Once it gets successful, an “Express” variation of the same sandwich chain opens across the street. At the end, everything remains status-quo, as it always does in the Simpsons’ universe. Again, the story was okay, with no real B-story. But, this being a mostly Marge-centric episode, it was pretty weak. So far, through three episodes, we’ve had them center on Krusty/his dad, Bart/Homer, and Marge. Take a guess which one was the best, and which too were not that great? Let’s place the focus on FUNNY characters!

    Now is the time I talk about the couch gag. Fortunately, it’s the shortest one yet. Unfortunately, it is dumb and stupid. It’s just a strange song played over scenes in Springfield of various residents doing things, all in a watercolor-esque painted style. I’m sure this is a reference I’m not getting, but I’m not compelled enough to even check.

    Overall, this episode was not good. It had some good sight gags that made me chuckle, and exactly one quote I thought worthy to write down. Even this isn’t anything amazing. Oh well though. There are what, 19 more episodes in season 26? I’m going to remain very cautiously optimistic. But I'm still giving this episode a big ol' fat...

4/10

Let’s check out the all-knowing and omnipresent bullet point list:

• Ned has a VCR rewinder [important note: we actually owned one of these as well. What the FUCK was the purpose?]. He also has a DVD rewinder
• Ned's freezer that Homer stole is a "Freezerino". Made in Okily, Dokahama, Japan. Maybe the funniest gag of the whole episode
• During a short montage, Homer reads both "Time Passers" and "Can't Focus" magazines
• It seems there was an abundance of short flashbacks or thought bubbles. They all suck
• It's good to see that, after 26 years, they still take jabs at Fox
• My other favorite sight gag was Marge putting up a "first dollar earned". It's a dollar bill in a very nice frame. It pans out, and she has eleven one dollar bills hung up in a similar fashion. First through eleventh dollar earned
• Marge's voice really annoys me in this episode. She is very nervous/anxious/sad in this episode, and her voice, because of all that emotion, really just bothers me
• Homer's pants fall around his ankles. Marge then proclaims she's going to Moe's. Homer gasps very deeply, and his pants come back up from around his ankles to his waist. I greatly enjoyed this
• The prehistoric sandwich bit at the very end is sort of amusing
• The only quote I liked this week:
• Ned (inspecting his power usage): "Why, that's a higher power than even I believe in!"

Probably the funniest joke in the episode

    There you have it. A very disappointing episode in an overall disappointing (young) season of The Simpsons. Tune in soon for the next one! Thanks for reading

Season 26, Ep 2 Review: The Wreck of the Relationship

Lemons: extra sour

"The Wreck of the Relationship"

    Here we have the second episode of season 26 of The Simpsons, entitled "Wreck of the Relationship". I'm very happy to report that I think it's a MAJOR step up from the premiere. I actually enjoyed this episode quite a bit. Now, let's not get carried away here. It was good, but it still just doesn't have what classic Simpsons used to have. This isn't a beautiful season 6 episode, let's say, but it's definitely better than at least a few season 14 episodes I can think of off the top of my head ("Barting Over" and "Dude, Where's My Ranch?" specifically come to mind). Hell, maybe more than a few. Perhaps a review of season 14 would be fun? Eh, another day, another day. We're here to talk 26. Back to this episode, its story is better than the Krusty-centric premiere (although not by much), but this episode has something the previous one didn't: honest-to-goodness laughs! Can you imagine? The main story here has Bart and Homer at their wits' end with each other, mainly due to Bart's continued disrespect of Homer. Marge, at her own wit's end with the both of them, signs them up for a week at sea, on a ship (called the Relation Ship. Har-dee-har-har) that is used to work out father/son relationship problems. Ned, Apu, and Cletus are there as well. Does Ned REALLY have problems with Rod and Todd? I didn't find myself caring (or even really believing) about the other fathers/sons on the ship. What about Milhouse and his dad? Hell, they should have let Krusty's dad live, and they could have thrown them on this boat!

Bart's on a boat motherfuckers, don't you ever forget (still relevant?)

    [note: please ignore all the damn clutter around my desk. I watched most of this episode on my lunch break, and I'm too damn lazy/busy to crop this picture correctly. One day, maybe, I'll go back and re-crop ALL my pictures. Ugh]    
    This episode is another seeming retread of old topics. Like I said in my previous post, it's probably incredibly difficult for them to come up with believable familial situations that the Simpsons as a family haven't already gone through. So while this Bart/Homer story is decent, the B-story I actually liked. The premiere's B-story was pretty shitty, but this one, about Marge controlling Homer's fantasy football team (and also being abhorred about all the trash-talking messages all the other teams send Homer), was good. I'm pretty biased towards fantasy football, so I'm not sure if this skewed my opinion at all. Still, it generated some good laughs. Overall, this episode had me chuckling throughout (still nothing laugh-out-loud funny, but we're getting a little closer I think). It's a HUGE step-up from the last episode. If the season carries on at this pace, I think I'd be pleasantly surprised, and pretty damn pleased. Not to shit on season 14, but if every episode for 26 is like this one, I'd definitely rank this newest season as better than 14. 14 rubs me the wrong way, I guess. I mean, "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation" is great, but you need to search high and low for more that are that good from that season.
    I'd like to briefly discuss the couch gag. I don't think I'm going to do this weekly (hopefully not, anyway), but this one is another long, obnoxious one. It's not as long as the bizarre premiere, but it sucks way more. It has Scratchy on the couch, about to be axed by Itchy. He's saved by the Simpsons, and then he lives at the house. He gets increasingly more aggravating to the normal residents of the household, until they just bring Itchy back, who murders Scratchy. It's long, really not that funny, and just dumb. Full disclosure: I have never really been a huge fan of the couch gags, but at least the bad ones from the "golden era" were a few seconds long. Now, the bad ones are 60+ seconds long. Ugh. 
    Anyway, in summary: slightly better story than previous episode; funny jokes that don't stretch too far (long couch gag notwithstanding); and in general, it's entertaining! I feel good giving this one a solid...

6/10

    There was more to like about this episode than the previous. Let's bullet point it:

• Perv Hunter Web Filter
• It's probably just me, but I find it so strange that Homer (and the whole family/town) uses current technology, like iPhones and Macs. We are a long way away from Homer not even knowing what the internet is. But, it makes sense really. When the Simpsons started, the internet, and home computers, basically weren't things. 
• Homer's fantasy football team name: Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe. Actually laughed good at this one.
• Martin beating up Nelson was sort of amusing
• The fantasy football trash-talk messages at the church was funny. Especially Lovejoy doing it too
• I really enjoyed the short montage of Bart and Homer on the boat doing various things
• Also, the over/under knot-tying conversation between Bart and the captain of the ship was great
• Great callback to the signed Tom Landry hat Homer bought waaaaay back in "You Only Move Twice". Marge wears it during her own fantasy football montage.
• There's a part towards the end when there is a big storm brewing. Homer is swabbing the deck, and a wave crashes onto the ship and he disappears with it. Another wave crashes onto the ship, and he re-appears. I really enjoyed this for some reason.
• "Disgraced Captain forced to sell accordion" - a dreamed-up newspaper headline
• Homer: "Pssh, milk! That's for babies and old guys who can't sleep at night because of what they did in the war." Great quote from Homer.
• Marge: "Homey! Homey, the fantasy draft just ended! I got you five kickers! It is called football, right?"

    Check back hopefully tomorrow or Friday for the next season 26 episode review. 

Season 26, Ep 1 Review: Clown in the Dumps

"All animals can scream"

"Clown in the Dumps"

     Welcome, welcome! I'm here to talk about season 26 of The Simpsons. I am a huge Simpsons fan. Perhaps you didn't know that? Well, I've loved The Simpsons for a long time, since I was probably five-or-six years old. I would religiously watch them every Sunday night. It was the best thirty minutes of the week. As the years went on, and as I got older, I started to realize something: The Simpsons, a show which once could absolutely do no wrong, was starting to do some wrong. As the season numbers climbed, the quality fell. I watched every season in its entirety, every Sunday, until probably season 16 or 17. Since then, I've only seen a handful of new episodes from those seasons onwards. I know they haven't been great. Some I've seen have been downright BAD. It sucks when a beloved show starts to show its age. Unfortunately, they started showing their age ten years ago. However, I've decided to tune in to the newest episodes. I know I'm very late, but I'm going to do a weekly write up of the newest season of the Simpsons, its 26th. I believe I can give an interesting perspective on these episodes. So, if you're jaded on the Simpsons, but you want to know what's going on with them recently, tune back in weekly (most likely the Mondays after they air). Since I'm I think seven episodes behind, I will try to post several this week, to try to catch up. Anyway, enough jibba-jabba. Let's watch this shit (that was harsh. It's probably not shit, right? Right?)



    It seems, as the Simpsons go on and on, they feel the need to make their couch gag segments longer and longer. Not just longer, though, but more obnoxious and dumb. This episode, the premier of season 26, has an incredibly long couch gag. In fact, I timed it. From the start of the couch gag, until the opening credits (before the episode starts), is 1:43! Remember when couch gags were four-or-five seconds long? And sometimes they were creative and funny? Well, at any rate, I actually really like this opening. It is incredibly long, but it's so UNBELIEVABLY  bizarre and nonsensical, it's pretty entertaining. It's The Simpsons in the far future!




Marge Simpson!

    Let's get down to the real meat of the episode: it centers around the death of a Springfield resident. Apparently, this fact had really been played up, and a lot of hype was created in the days and weeks before the premier. Who could it be? A main character? Wouldn't that be exciting? Even an integral side character? Character deaths have worked, to varying degrees, on the show before. I was unaware of any of this hype, however. I didn't bother paying attention to season 26 until a few weeks after it started. So, who died?

... 

... 

... 

..? 

 Ugh, Krusty's dad, Hyman Krustofsky. What a huge letdown. This is a character that has only been in a few episodes, and I personally find him to be a very weak character. Hardly worthy of the hype, pre-episode.
    Okay, so a character dies. A barely-there character. How is the episode itself? Unfortunately, it's not great. The main story of Krusty grieving his father's death while also trying to figure out who he himself is, and if his father ever respected him, is DECENT at very best. It really just screams of retreading old ground. It's very hard for the Simpsons, in their 26th year, not to retread old ground, but at least do it with a better character. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Krusty. One of the show's strongest characters. However, episodes that focus on him I generally don't like. And episodes that focus on him and his father's relationship I really don't care for. Even going back to the "golden era", season three episode "Like Father, Like Clown", where Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky is introduced, is bereft of many laughs. One of my least favorites of that season. Back to the current, the main story has a little bit of heart at least. The B-story, which shows Lisa being very concerned for her own dad's health, really just sucks. There are no laughs, or real emotion, to be had.
    This is a pretty crappy premiere. I'm not sure what I really expected from this episode. Honestly, not much. I expect very little from The Simpsons these days. It's damn tragic, actually. I'm hoping maybe the upcoming episodes will be a little better than this one (I've watched two others so far. I will say the Halloween episode is actually fairly decent and creative). I mean, a bad premiere doesn't spell disaster for the entire season, does it? I personally dislike the premier to season five, "Homer's Barbershop Quartet". Perhaps one of my least favorite "golden era" episodes. [Note: I'm going to continue using quotes around the phrase "golden era", because I don't think anyone can completely agree exactly what era that was. For me, personally, I'd say seasons 3-9 are my "golden era". Seasons 1 and 2 are good, and 10 is good (11+ have good episodes as well, but that's definitely when the downturn happened), but 3-9 are basically all gold. They could do no wrong in that time.] So, with all this rambling, I'm going to summarize my feelings in a brief few words: few laughs, sub-par story, really bad B-story, lame character death. Bam, that's all you need. I'm going to actually rate these episodes, so I'm going to give it a...

4/10

    But, have no fear! All is not lost. There were actually a few good things about this episode! Here is a rundown of the random notes/quotes I wrote about this episode:

• Firstly, isn't Krusty illiterate? How does he read the teleprompter in the beginning?
• I also thought it was funny that Krusty laments that everyone thinks he's past his prime. Sure sounds an awful lot like a certain TV show past its prime in its 26th season...
• Sideshow Bob has a very brief, but good, cameo. I liked it
• I actually laughed a bit at Krusty solving the Rubik's cube in like three seconds, hoping it would occupy hours of his time
• Also, Bart trying to show Krusty every episode of his show was funny. Especially Krusty's decades-long running gag (unintentional running gag, that is) about celebrities sitting on people
• The Jewish Heaven segment is kind of clever.
• Also, Rodney Dangerfield sitting next to Jesus in the Super VIP section of Jewish Heaven was a nice touch.
• The only quote I thought was worthy of including:
• Krusty: "No no no no, I don't deserve the pre-recorded applause of children long-gone."

    I hope you've enjoyed reading about the premiere episode of the 26th season of The Simpsons. Hopefully we can have some fun this year. That's a big HOPEFULLY, unfortunately, but what the hell, I'll give them one more benefit of the doubt!

The sign reads, "The Whole Store Is a Complaint Department"